To my Daughter

"Two years ago, my husband, my son, my daughter and I were on vacation. It must be said that none of us four have the same tastes, so it’s not easy to spend the holidays together! But yet, we still like to be together.
So we were visiting a foreign city when, one afternoon, we asked ourselves: will we visit this or that? My husband and my son wanted to visit this, my daughter and I wanted to visit that ... and I said, without thinking:
"Okay, let's follow the boys!"
And my daughter said, and she thought what she said:
"Why, for once, would not it be the boys who would follow us?"
The boys started to sulk, and I said to my daughter:
"It's not very important to visit this or that, darling."

She replied:
"If it's not that important, then boys could visit what we like! Because I never say anything, I don’t moan and am always in a good mood, like you, we always do what pleases the boys!"
Well, she was exaggerating a bit! but she had put her finger on my behavior, the one I learned from my mother, the one she learned from her mother, etc.
So I said:
"Boys, you go together, we girls, we'll go on our side, and tonight we'll be happy to tell us about our afternoons!"
So was done.
But for me, the story did not stop there. It made me think.

I had always thought that I had raised my children, boy and girl, the same way: I treat them equally, I ask them the same household chores and, of course, I love them both so much! But I didn't realize that the difference between the sexes that I unconsciously instilled was in my own behavior: I gave up easily on little things of everyday life.

Was it a lack of energy? A woman who’s a wife, a mother, a worker, has so much to do in a day of only 24 hours!
Was it to have not to fight that I just chose the soft option? Male heros fight for their own cause, women just follow them.
Anyway, it was only because I yielded to their wishes that they imposed theirs on me.

So why not say anything? If the men around you are, like my husband and my son, nice men who wouldn’t hurt a fly and are ready to please you, why? but why ? don’t we tell them:

"Here's what I like, here's what I think, here's what I am, here's what I'd like to do or be. You, men, have your story, your way of living it. Even in parallel and hand in hand, I, woman, have the right to have my story, to tell it and live it my own way."

I don’t tell you this story in order to trigger a new revolution. Far from me this thought, I don’t believe in revolutions. No. I tell this story to encourage every woman to write her own story in every act and every day of life:
Your desire to have green curtains is equal to your man's desire to have blue curtains – don’t divorce, find a compromise!
Your desire to watch Pride and Prejudice is equal to your man's desire to watch a male and Hollywoodian hero who save lives and escape from an exploding building – which is quite improbable, if you want my opinion!
Conclusion, if we don’t want to impose ourselves to play the supporting role, if we want to change the way you look at ourselves, for us, for our daughters, let’s read stories written by women, let’s look at films made by women. We are the heroines of our own lives, and it's likely we only have one ... !" GabrielleDubois©

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