I'm not going to the beach this summer. I never go to the beach in summer. I don't like it, for all the reasons that make those who go there like it: the burning sun, the sand in the sandwich,
the cold water, the icecream melting on your fingers, the vacationers in bathing suits, the towels on which you torture yourself to painfully read your book and, biggest nonsense: exposing a
sticky sunscreen skin to the sun instead of laying in the fresh shade of a tree!
I like the beach in winter, under a grey leaden sky, wrapped in a wool sweater. I know, I'm a strong head. I assume.
But you who love sea, torticolli, frisbee, bikini, don't forget to love yourself too, will you ?
Because, according to an April 2019 IFOP survey among European women, only 23% find themselves quite pretty and 6% very pretty.
Some questions come to mind:
Why was this survey done only among women?
Wouldn't men ask themselves the question or would they not have to ask themselves it?
Why do women's magazines still make women feel guilty from January 1 to June 30, focusing all their attention on the diets needed to slip their diverse bodies into too small swimsuits?
Why do women still read these articles and worry about how others look at them?
Why do women still believe that men are so perfect that men will never be beautiful enough for them?
Men, like women, may dream of an ideal of beauty. But the ideal of beauty is different for each of us, it is not the one and only of magazines.
Just because you will be "more beautiful" than your neighbour, does not mean that the new neighbour will start a conversation with you, over your badly trimmed hedge. It's because he liked your
cheerful "Hello!", the smell of burning that once escaped from your kitchen, your friendly smile, your shyness, your humor, your scowl under your big wool hat, your expressive eyes, your natural
nails, the piles of books you bring home every week from the library or… who knows?
Yes, who knows! So there I stop writing and I shout to my husband who is in another room:
" ‘Doudou, why did you fall in love with me?’
He's comes in, embarrassed:
‘Well, I don't know!’
‘Come on, think about it!’
‘What do you want me to say? I don't know how to say these things... Because you were different.’ "
Et voilà! That’s all!
I was no more beautiful than another one by any criteria of fashion, century, magazine or Hollywood. My breasts were neither big nor round, my nose was not straight, my hair was not as abundant,
shiny and smooth as in a commercial. But I was different. That is, I was the one he thought was right for him.
Next to me, at the same time, there could have been an ideal Hollywood creature, it would have made no difference. A man who seeks lasting love to build a family ― whatever it’s shape is ―
does not choose the immense sun, he chooses the simple wood fire.
So, sea, sex and sun, if you like them, good for you! Enjoy your vacation without worrying about comparing yourself to all the girls and women on the beach. Women are not rivals, they are
sisters. And if a Bachelor asks you to believe otherwise... turn off your tablet! Get up from your beach towel, take your imperfections and all your qualities and go play in the waves!
When I was twenty years old, I was thin, pretty... and unhappy.
Today, I am 51 years old. I'm too fat, according to the beauty criteria of the magazines, one of my arm is burnt, I have stretch marks due to pregnancy and certainly wrinkles, I don't know, I
have to change my glasses soon! And I am happy.
So, happiness wouldn't come from physique, youth or bikini? Here's a good news!
Gabrielle Dubois©
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